• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Because dads don’t always think like moms™

  • Dad
    • Celebrities
    • Gay Dads
    • Sex
    • Single Dads
  • Pregnancy
    • Labor or Delivery
    • Pregnant Wife
  • Baby
    • Baby Naming
    • Feeding
    • Sleep
    • Toilet Training
  • Kids
  • Teens
  • Activities
    • Local
    • By Age
    • Movie Reviews
    • Celebrations
  • Toys
    • We Recommend
    • Toys
  • Coaching for Dads
  • Great Dad Talks Podcast
You are here: Home / Kids / The Self-Esteem Trap

The Self-Esteem Trap

March 27, 2009 by GreatDad Writers Leave a Comment

“The Self-Esteem Trap: Raising Confident and Compassionate Kids in an Age of Self-Importance by Polly Young-Eisendrath is out and it will be a good read for parents frustrated by the “every child is a winner” mentality that has taken over our schools and playgrounds.
 
I happen to believe in the philosophy behind constant praise for children. In my belief, they need to build a reservoir of love and good feeling to be ready to battle the big bad world. However, I am also wary of shielding them growth experiences that will prepare them for the challenges after they leave the nest. We have covered many good books on the site related to self-esteem, especially by Michael Gurian and Robert Brooks which are strong resources to better understanding this dilemma.

In this book, Ms. Young-Eisendrath spells out sources of the problem. If you recognize yourself as one of these types of parents, you may be setting your child up for self-esteem issues later on:

  • Laissez-faire parents – “indirect, non-confrontational, vague, and friendly in their attempts to be authorities”
  • Helicopter parents – “hover around their children” trying to be close friends with them.
  • Role-reversal parents – believe that you can encourage children’s inner genius by allowing them lots of affection and attention with few boundaries

As in the books of Gurian and Brooks, Ms. Young-Eisendrath examines the importance of adversity and virtue in developing kids with good self-esteem. Adversity is important, so they can overcome or make peace with it. Teaching virtue and conscience, especially as it relates to others, especially by helping them, helps to get kids outside themselves.

Some readers may be put off by her chapter on “Religion and Reverence,” where she has a section entitled, “Why we need religion,” and patronizingly insists that “spirituality” is not a substitute for organized religion.

Polly Young-Eisendrath is a Jungian analyst and psychologist,, and a a Clinical Associate Professor o Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Vermont.

Filed Under: Kids, Recommends

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Great Dad Talks

Great Dad Talks
Great Dad Talks

Great Dad Talks is a series of conversations with experts on all aspects of the family adventure. With the perspective that “dads don’t always think like moms,” our mission is to support dad voices and our slightly different approaches to parenting. We’ll try to find solutions to every day challenges like getting kids off the couch and making STEM classes available for both boys and girls. But we’ll also tackle bigger issues when they come. The one main theme will be to support dads in the most important role of their lives that of being a great dad. Connect with us at greatdad.com and watch the video version of these podcasts at YouTube.com/greatdadnews

152. Building Men’s Character and Legacy with Jim Tracy
byPaul Banas

In this inspiring episode of Great Dad Talks, guest Jim Tracy—a father, grandfather, entrepreneur, and author of Building Men: Character Lessons from Influencers- opens up about his journey in fatherhood, the importance of character traits, and the legacy we leave as dads. We delve into lessons learned from influential figures in Jim’s life, the difference between values and character, and practical advice for dads who may not have strong role models.

Whether you’re just starting out as a dad, feeling overwhelmed, or seeking to build a strong legacy for your children and grandchildren, Jim’s heartfelt stories and actionable insights will resonate with you—no matter where you are on your parenting journey.

Check out Jim’s website at www.thejimtracy.com

Visit these links and embark on the path to becoming the best parent you can be:

– GreatDad.com/coaching 

– GreatDad.com/pq 

– Gratitude course: bit.ly/3NMLDNC  

50% off for podcast listeners with code PODCAST50

152. Building Men’s Character and Legacy with Jim Tracy
152. Building Men’s Character and Legacy with Jim Tracy
July 1, 2025
Paul Banas
151. The Power of Playful Parenting with Dr. Larry Cohen
June 24, 2025
Paul Banas
150. The Power of Humor in Parenting with Gavin Bellour
June 17, 2025
Paul Banas
149. Winning College Applications with Hamada Zahawi
June 10, 2025
Paul Banas
148. Healing Generational Trauma with Dr. Sasha Reiisi
June 3, 2025
Paul Banas
147. Discovering Dad’s Purpose with Adam Landrum
May 27, 2025
Paul Banas
146. Balancing Business and Family with Dr. Travis Parry
May 20, 2025
Paul Banas
145. Understanding Children’s Emotional Needs with Dr. David Marcus
May 13, 2025
Paul Banas
144. Exploring Mindful Fatherhood with Odeani Mc Bean
May 6, 2025
Paul Banas
143. Overcoming Dad Burnout with Scott Anderson
April 29, 2025
Paul Banas
Search Results placeholder

More to See

10 best weather-based smart sprinkler controllers in 2025

July 1, 2025 By Paul Banas

State of the Art: 13 Best Headphones in 2025 Including One over $2000

June 25, 2025 By Paul Banas

Copyright © 2025 . GreatDad