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Face fatherhood fears

March 27, 2007 by GreatDad Writers Leave a Comment

You are truly ecstatic about the impending birth of your baby.
But, deep down, you are also grappling with fears regarding your new status as a father.
Understandably, you are not quite comfortable discussing these issues with anyone—not even your
partner. Actually, this is quite normal. It might help you to identify and evaluate your fears, and
take steps to overcome or deal with them.

Financial
anxiety:
This is one of the most common of fears associated with fatherhood. Childbirth means
more than an additional member in the family. In most households, it also means that the dad will
now be the sole breadwinner. Reviewing your budget plans is one way you can overcome this
fear.


Fear of mortality: There is nothing like the
birth of a baby to bring home the fact of one’s own mortality. Suddenly, the realization sinks in
that you are not as invincible as you used to believe. This awareness brings with it a growing sense
of responsibility. Your family needs you and you cannot take your life as granted any
longer.


Relationship insecurity: You may have
always thought your partner loved you more than anyone else in the world. Now suddenly you find that
there is danger of your special position being usurped by the baby. You also realize that your
spouse shares a bond with the baby—one that you are not sure you would be able to equal. It is
important for you to face your doubts and come towards an understanding that bringing up a baby is a
joint responsibility between both parents. The sad fact for dad is that mom will likely no longer
dote on you by making you breakfast or buying your clothes, or at least not as often. And the baby
will come before time with you and even your lovemaking.
 
And, in the short run, for
all your sacrifice, you’ll likely only get to hear, “I want mommy.” You have to learn not to take
this personally and realize that your big role, at least from what you can discern, in their life
will only start to really form after about two years of age.


Commitment anxiety: Perhaps at the back of your mind you’ve always harbored the idea
that if things got really bad with your spouse, you could always consider running away. Those
thoughts might be fleeting and non at all serious. However, with a  baby on the way, there is
no more “running away.”   The baby is 24/7/365 for the rest of your life.  That’s a
good thing, but it is also a major change in how you view your independence.

Filed Under: Pregnancy

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Face Fatherhood Fears

August 21, 2006 by Paul Banas Leave a Comment

You are truly ecstatic about the impending birth of your baby. But, deep down, you are also grappling with fears regarding your new status as a father. Understandably, you are not quite comfortable discussing these issues with anyone—not even your partner. Actually, this is quite normal. It might help you to identify and evaluate your fears, and take steps to overcome or deal with them.

Financial anxiety: This is one of the most common of fears associated with fatherhood. Childbirth means more than an additional member in the family. In most households, it also means that the dad will now be the sole breadwinner. Reviewing your budget plans is one way you can overcome this fear.


Fear of mortality: There is nothing like the birth of a baby to bring home the fact of one’s own mortality. Suddenly, the realization sinks in that you are not as invincible as you used to believe. This awareness brings with it a growing sense of responsibility. Your family needs you and you cannot take your life as granted any longer.


Relationship insecurity: You may have always thought your partner loved you more than anyone else in the world. Now suddenly you find that there is danger of your special position being usurped by the baby. You also realize that your spouse shares a bond with the baby—one that you are not sure you would be able to equal. It is important for you to face your doubts and come towards an understanding that bringing up a baby is a joint responsibility between both parents. The sad fact for dad is that mom will likely no longer dote on you by making you breakfast or buying your clothes, or at least not as often. And the baby will come before time with you and even your lovemaking.
 
And, in the short run, for all your sacrifice, you’ll likely only get to hear, “I want mommy.” You have to learn not to take this personally and realize that your big role, at least from what you can discern, in their life will only start to really form after about two years of age.


Commitment anxiety: Perhaps at the back of your mind you’ve always harbored the idea that if things got really bad with your spouse, you could always consider running away. Those thoughts might be fleeting and non at all serious. However, with a  baby on the way, there is no more “running away.”   The baby is 24/7/365 for the rest of your life.  That’s a good thing, but it is also a major change in how you view your dependence.

Filed Under: -1 Week

About Paul Banas

Paul Banas is happy married dad of two great kids living in San Francisco. He writes now about kids, new technology and how the two interact for GreatDad.com and for Pregnancy Magazine (pregnancymagazine.com) where he is also the publisher.

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Great Dad Talks is a series of conversations with experts on all aspects of the family adventure. With the perspective that “dads don’t always think like moms,” our mission is to support dad voices and our slightly different approaches to parenting. We’ll try to find solutions to every day challenges like getting kids off the couch and making STEM classes available for both boys and girls. But we’ll also tackle bigger issues when they come. The one main theme will be to support dads in the most important role of their lives that of being a great dad. Connect with us at greatdad.com and watch the video version of these podcasts at YouTube.com/greatdadnews

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Welcome to another episode of Great Dad Talks, where we dive into the world of modern fatherhood with Odeani McBean. Together, we delve into modern fatherhood, exploring the transformative journey that led him to become a dedicated coach for dads. Discover how he turned personal challenges into a mission to support other fathers, helping them find balance and value in their important roles. Whether you’re a seasoned dad or new to the journey, this conversation offers valuable perspectives and inspiration.

Check out Odeani’s website threesixfivedad.com

Visit these links and embark on the path to becoming the best parent you can be:

– GreatDad.com/coaching 

– GreatDad.com/pq 

– Gratitude course: bit.ly/3NMLDNC  

50% off for podcast listeners with code PODCAST50

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