• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Because dads don’t always think like moms™

  • Dad
    • Celebrities
    • Gay Dads
    • Sex
    • Single Dads
  • Pregnancy
    • Labor or Delivery
    • Pregnant Wife
  • Baby
    • Baby Naming
    • Feeding
    • Sleep
    • Toilet Training
  • Kids
  • Teens
  • Activities
    • Local
    • By Age
    • Movie Reviews
    • Celebrations
  • Toys
    • We Recommend
    • Toys
  • Coaching for Dads
  • Great Dad Talks Podcast

Seven fears of expectant fathers

June 2, 2006 by GreatDad Writers Leave a Comment

The minute you learn that your partner is pregnant you will be expected to take part in the pregnancy. All the attention will be on the mom, and very few people will ask you how you’re adjusting to the changes in your life. Those who comment will mostly echo the same idea: You should be excited to be a new dad. Very few people, however, will mention the anxiety, and even fear, that comes with this news. Like with a lot of things in life, forewarned is fore-armed. Here are seven of the most common fears of new dads.

1. Is the baby really mine?

It might surprise you to know that many dads have  had, perhaps only fleetingly, this bizarre thought. While you may have no doubts about your wife’s faithfulness, it is natural to wonder how you could have done this amazing thing. Additionally, we receive so many media messages that suggest infidelity is common, that is not surprising that our mind leaps to this passing thought. Understanding it’s common may be enough to calm your fears, especially if you have no reason to be suspicious.   Nature has built in some safeguards to make sure you don’t harbor this feeling after childbirth. When you see her new baby, you’ll be surprised how much he or she looks like you and how many people comment on that fact. This phenomenon may not last forever, but Mother Nature will send you signals that the baby is yours.

2. Where am I in this new relationship?

With all the focus on the pregnancy and the new baby, you may wonder how you’ll fit in to the new couple of mommy and baby. To be sure, the new arrival will change your relationship with your wife, but it will also change your concept of your family. Make no mistake that a lot of focus will be on mom and the baby from pregnancy through the baby’s early years, but you will have a lot of control over the role you play in your family.

3. Does this mean I’m old? 

 We’re all afraid of “becoming our parents,” but being called dad for first time doesn’t mean you have to start smoking a pipe and wearing a cardigan.  It does however, mean you have to give up some of the trappings of youthful insouciance.  You’re no longer a kid, and you have an awesome responsibility. That doesn’t mean you can’t go out and party all night — if you have a sitter, that is.  It’s good to differentiate what changes happen in your life due to kids versus the changes that will come anyway now that you’re no longer a teenager. Some people blame their kids for stealing away their youth, when Father Time was always in the process of doing that anyway.  We are always evolving as individuals through our experiences. Having kids doesn’t make you old, but it will make you wiser.  And a wiser you may just decide to go to bed at midnight rather than 3AM.

4. Will I pass out in the delivery room? 

Most men who didn’t go to medical school wonder if they will end up on the delivery room floor.  In most cases, this won’t happen. Your focus will be on mom and the baby and very likely very little on yourself. If you’re really worried, talk to the OB/GYN or even your own doctor.  You may also want to hire a doula to help out in the delivery room when you need a break.   A doula can also help you “practice” together for the main event so you’re not surprised in the delivery room.

5. What kind of father will I be? 

Maybe you worry that  you forget to let the cat in, or that you can barely keep up with your own laundry. It’s very common to wonder how you’ll be able to take care of another helpless animal in the house.  You will, however, be amazed at how attentive you will be to the new baby.  You’ll also be amazed at how much room  there was in your schedule to pack in all kinds of stuff like feedings and changings. This may require making some other sacrifices in things you used to like to do, but lot of having a baby means trading things for new rewards

6. Will my wife make it through childbirth? 

A generation or two ago this was a very very real concern.  Many babies didn’t make it , and many moms didn’t survive childbirth either.  The US had only 13 maternal deaths per 100,000 births in 2004. 

 A full 1% of moms died in childbirth in the US in 1900.  Two factors that increase risk are caesarian births and obesity.

7. How can I afford this?  

This is most dads’ biggest fear. From time immemorial, new dads have worried how they would put fresh brontosaurus on the table and take care of their growing family.  The current economic climate has made this even more challenging.  There is no single answer to this and dads and moms struggle with the realities of extra costs every day.  We can say that your personal needs will shift as you recognize the needs of your children for good care, food and education, and most parents figure out a way to cobble together their finances to provide for their kids.

Filed Under: Pregnancy

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Great Dad Talks

Great Dad Talks
Great Dad Talks

Great Dad Talks is a series of conversations with experts on all aspects of the family adventure. With the perspective that “dads don’t always think like moms,” our mission is to support dad voices and our slightly different approaches to parenting. We’ll try to find solutions to every day challenges like getting kids off the couch and making STEM classes available for both boys and girls. But we’ll also tackle bigger issues when they come. The one main theme will be to support dads in the most important role of their lives that of being a great dad. Connect with us at greatdad.com and watch the video version of these podcasts at YouTube.com/greatdadnews

145. Understanding Children’s Emotional Needs with Dr. David Marcus
byPaul Banas

Today we delve into the complexities of fatherhood with David Marcus, Ph.D., an expert with over forty years of experience working with families and children. In this enlightening conversation, we explore the essential components of communicating with your child, focusing on the development of a common emotional language. Learn about the four assumptions of emotionality that parents often make and discover strategies to foster a safe and open environment for meaningful conversations at any age.

Check out Dr. Marcus’ website at parentrx.org

Visit these links and embark on the path to becoming the best parent you can be:

– GreatDad.com/coaching 

– GreatDad.com/pq 

– Gratitude course: bit.ly/3NMLDNC  

50% off for podcast listeners with code PODCAST50

145. Understanding Children’s Emotional Needs with Dr. David Marcus
145. Understanding Children’s Emotional Needs with Dr. David Marcus
May 13, 2025
Paul Banas
144. Exploring Mindful Fatherhood with Odeani Mc Bean
May 6, 2025
Paul Banas
143. Overcoming Dad Burnout with Scott Anderson
April 29, 2025
Paul Banas
142. Building Resilient Kids with Dr. Richard Oelberger
April 24, 2025
Paul Banas
141. Exploring Men’s Sexual Health with Dr. Elliot Justin
April 22, 2025
Paul Banas
140. Instilling Values and Financial Literacy with Barclay Roper
April 15, 2025
Paul Banas
139. Adaptive Cooking Tools and Techniques with Douglas Katz
April 8, 2025
Paul Banas
138. Exploring Masculinity and Men’s Groups with Jason Lange
April 1, 2025
Paul Banas
137. Modern Tech for Kids with Damien Schreurs
March 25, 2025
Paul Banas
136. Addressing the Gender Education Gap with Sean Kullman
March 18, 2025
Paul Banas
Search Results placeholder

More to See

Adaptive Cooking Tools and Techniques with Douglas Katz

April 24, 2025 By Paul Banas

Lingo and Stelo CGM kits

How Dads Can Master Glucose Monitoring in 2025

May 14, 2025 By Paul Banas

Copyright © 2025 . GreatDad