What do dads want for Father’s Day?

Father‘s Day might not come with all the pomp and pageantry of Mother’s Day – usually a hug and a silly tie will do the trick – but as the paternal holiday arrives, dads might be left wondering what gifts await them this year.

Perceptive fathers may have noticed that most Father’s Day cards seem to deride dad’s follies, rather than appreciate what he does for the family.

Every June you expect to be taken to a baseball game or at least brought out to dinner, but instead get a card that essentially says, "Happy Father’s Day – stop hogging the remote," or "Happy Father’s Day – all you do is golf and fish."

But according to some retailers, all of that is starting to change.

Robert Padgett, a spokesman from Brookstone, told the Montreal Gazette, "Father’s Day used to be a bit of an afterthought, but gift-giving is evolving in such a way that the standard tie or pair of socks isn’t cutting it anymore."

One online retailer, Lastminute.com, even offers gift packages that can get dad one ownership share of his favorite English or Scottish soccer team, says the news source.

While the Father’s Day gift-giving trend has clearly headed in the right direction, we have a few requests to help right the ship.

1.) Fathers like to feel like the man of the house. A robe, slippers, and smoking pipe will help fill the role of the classic paterfamilias. Basically, pretend you’re buying a gift for Hugh Hefner.

2.) Father’s also like to feel drunk. You never have to keep your receipts for bottles of scotch; these items are very rarely returned.

3.) Fathers will forgo any gift on Father’s Day, provided they are allowed to hog the remote, golf and fish, year-round.